30 Banned Bits of Business Bullshit

Now that I am standing outside the corporate world, there are certain words and phases I hope never to see again. All of these clichés have a few things in common: They are over-used, tired and often are incorrect. Anyone who uses them is patently unoriginal (at least) and likely just not too smart.

In fact, before I list these, let me add a couple more specific to my most recent line of work. First, the amazing habit of supposedly educated people to capitalize the word "college" when used independently. I thought we all learned the difference between common nouns and proper nouns in elementary school! (Note that I did not write "Elementary School.") Another ridiculous practice is the use of the word "Doctor" when referring to those with PhDs. To those who teach in a classroom, the correct title is "Professor." To those who are administrators, I can think of quite a few other words.

Here is my list as of today, April Fool's Day, 2002. If you have any other ideas, e-mail me!

  1. at the end of the day (Using this proves you are at the end of your wits.)
  2. benchmark (an artificial attempt at accountability)
  3. best practice (Says who?)
  4. betterment (sounds like a candy)
  5. bottom line (used by someone who is another word for bottom)
  6. client-focused (What isn't? - see also "student-centered")
  7. core competencies (So what are the non-core ones?)
  8. due diligence (The attraction to this one must be the alliteration.)
  9. empower (Stop deluding yourselves; no one gives power to others.)
  10. fast track (Who wants a slow one?)
  11. game plan (Save it for the athletic coaches.)
  12. knowledge base (shows a real lack of knowledge)
  13. leverage (especially as a verb)
  14. mindset (Determine to use your own mind!)
  15. out of the loop (Anyone who resorts to this phrase certainly is.)
  16. paradigm (as in "a new…" - aren't they all?)
  17. positioning (No more making nouns into verbs!)
  18. proactive (extremely redundant, and popular because it is so remarkably pretentious)
  19. result-driven (No, let's drive somewhere away from results!)
  20. revisit (Can't we just visit?)
  21. state-of-the-art (Isn't everything?)
  22. strategic fit (This is a semantic misfit.)
  23. student-centered (always a lie; read "tuition-centered")
  24. synergy (This is so last century!)
  25. tactic (when used in business plans; save it for the battle field)
  26. think outside the box (Start by discarding this tired cliché.)
  27. touch base (Give this one back to the baseball players)
  28. twenty-four seven (Put this in the trash with "Don't go there!" and "You go, girl!")
  29. value-added (Aren't they all?)
  30. win/win (Use this one and you're a lose/loser.)

...and that's it.

© 2002 Butch Maxwell

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