25 Random Self-Revelations

A Facebook application made the rounds in January of 2009 in which people were supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about themselves, then share them with 25 people who would be asked to do the same thing. I don't often indulge Facebook applications and quizes, but this seemed like a potentially fun exercise, and I thought I'd share my 25 things here. If you've read my other Maxims, you will notice some repetition. Sorry, but how much indulgent self-revelation can one person produce?

1. I was born breech. This probably explains a lot of things.
2. Before I was four years old, I was taken to the emergency room and received stitches four times for head injuries from falls. My mother was worried and took me to the doctor to see why I kept falling. The doctor said I was just clumsy, and he suggested dancing lessons. I became an excellent dancer, and, since I was unusually small for my age and was very extroverted, I had my first "fifteen minutes of fame" at age five as a performer. I'm still a performer and I haven't fallen since.
3. I never liked my nickname, but I've accepted it. My real name was after my father, whose name is William, but since my mother didn't want to call me "Junior" or "Little Bill," my father suggested the name of his boyhood best friend, a dog named "Butch." Yes, I was named for a dog. So I named my first dog "Bill."
4. I lied about naming my first dog "Bill." But it caps the story well.
5. I've always been a little contrarian. My father told me when I was about four years old that if he said "black" I would say "white." I said, "No, Daddy, I'd say 'brown.'"
6. My parents brought me up in a fine, middle-class suburban neighborhood. They are Presbyterian and Republican. I am neither. I am a Marxist. A Groucho Marxist. I won't join any club that will have me as a member.
7. I'd like to live in the South, but it has too many Southerners.
8. Although I have not lived there since I was seven years old, I was born in the South. I may be alive solely to live this down.
9. I do most things with my left hand, but I write with my right.
10. I don't like food much. Especially if it tastes like something.
11. When I feel out of sorts, I play Beatles music and usually feel better.
12. I refuse to be limited by what is possible.
13. I tend to spend all of my time alone at home fully-clothed, including shoes.
14. I don't believe in heroes.
15. I like most people, except for the self-righteous and intolerant. I'm perfectly right to hate them.
16. I am happiest when I am creating something.
17. I enjoy collaboration, as long as I can do it all by myself.
18. Usage of any of these phrases marks a person as a contrite windbag: "at the end of the day," "betterment," "bottom line," "proactive," "state-of-the-art," "outside the box," "twenty-four seven," "win/win," and "awesome."
19. God gives us only challenges we can handle, at least, until He gives us the one that kills us.
20. I gave up religion for lent.
21. I find it annoying when people tell me that they "feel" something when they really mean that they "think" something. But the truth is, they are probably not thinking.
22. If you think I sound like a curmudgeon at times, you could be right.
23. When it is futile to disagree with someone who is clearly wrong, I tell them this: "You could be right."
24. Even my narcissism is unrequited.
25. Needless to say.