A brief sketch, written for Comapny B in the 1990s - set in the future.
Scene: A shopping mall or an arcade. On the set is a game with a seat arms and a helmet. A keyboard is fastened to an arm on the device. A dusty sign near it reads "VR-5000"
Hank enters, carrying a shopping bag with packages in it. He walks almost past the VR-5000, then does a double-take as he realizes what it is.
Hank:
Oh, wow! It's a VR-5000. I haven't seen one of these since World War Three! Wow! What a classic. I gotta try it.
Hank sits in the seat, pulls the keyboard in front of him and lowers the helmet. He inserts tokens.
Voice of VR-5000:
Greetings. And welcome to the world of virtual reality with the VR-5000 - the ultimate in fantasy experience. To proceed, please indicate the type of reality you wish to experience. Your choices are: A. Adventure, B. Spiritual, C. Sex
Super: (reveal)
A. Adventure
B. Spiritual
C. Sex
Hank:
That's the one! [Looks at his keyboard.] Where's the "C" button? The letters are worn off! Oh, there it is. [He pushes a button.]
Super:
C. Sex
Voice of VR-5000:
Thank you for you select – select – select –
Super:
[Distorts]
Hank:
What the – ? It’s stuck! [He hits the dome.]
SFX:
Bang. [As Hank hits the dome.]
Hank:
[Going cross-eyed.] Oh, man, I shouldn't have done that.
Voice of VR-5000:
...selection. You have chosen “sex.” Please indicate the gender for your encounter. Your choices are A. Male B. Female.
Super:
Hank:
B! [He pushes a button.] Oh, no! I pushed the wrong one.
VR Man appears. He should be good-looking and well-dressed. All VR people are translucent and not-quite real-looking, but more there than not.
VR Man:
Hi there, stud. Nice laptop you got there.
Hank:
How do you reset?
VR Man:
I’d sure like to interface with you.
Hank:
Ah, here it is.
Hank pushes button. VR Man disappears.
Voice of VR-5000:
You have cancelled your selection. Do you wish to start over or exit?
Super:
A. Start Over
B. Exit
Hank:
[Pressing button.] A. Start Over
Super:
A. Start Over
Super changes to:
Hank:
With B. [Pressing button] Male.
Super:
B. Male
VR-Woman appears, dressed in sexy outfit.
VR-Woman:
Hi big boy! What’s your name?
Hank:
Uh – Hank.
VR-5000:
That’s a sexy name, [Hank’s voice] Uh – Hank.
Hank:
What’s your name?
VR-Woman:
My name is –
VR-Woman distorts and morphs into VR-Man.
VR-Man:
Dave.
Hank:
Dave?
VR-Man distorts and morphs back into VR-Woman.
VR-Woman:
My name is Candi. And I’d like to do something sexy with you. I’d like to – A.
Super (reveal):
VR-Woman (continued):
Lick you all over… B. Dance in your lap… C. Slowly strip for you.
Hank shivers all over in anticipation and deliberation.
Voice of VR-5000:
Make you selection now.
Hank:
[Pressing button.] Strip for me, baby! Yeah!
SFX:
Striptease music.
VR-Woman begins to slowly strip as Hank watches intently.
VR-Woman:
Oh, you are really turning me on, [Hank’s voice] Uh – Hank.
Hank leans over and accidentally hits the keyboard. VR-Woman begins to break up.
Hank:
No!
Hank frantically presses a key and then another repeatedly. VR-Woman resumes stripping and image clears up.
VR-Woman:
You really have a way with the ladies, [Hank’s voice] Uh – Hank. [Her voice] Would you mind if my friend Barbie joined in?
Hank:
[Gulps.] Sure.
VR-Woman freezes
Hank:
What’s wrong?
Voice of VR-5000:
Please insert five more credits for Barbie.
Hank:
Damn!
Super (reveal countdown from):
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hanks struggles with his pocket searching for more tokens. He finds them and inserts more credits.
Voice of VR-5000:
Thank you for your selection. Barbie will appear when you think of her.
VR-woman unfreezes and begins to writhe around. Hank fidgets.
Hank:
Think of her?
An old woman, Hank’s Mom, appears.
Hanks’ Mom:
All right young man! Are you playing with yourself again?
Hank:
Mom! What are you doing here?
Hank’s Mom:
This always happens to you when you think of sex.
Hank:
Mom!
VR-Woman:
Oh, [Hank’s voice] Uh – Hank, [her voice] you’re really making me hot!
Hank’s Mom:
I think your little friend should leave now.
Hank begins pressing buttons.
Hank:
No!
Hank’s mom begins to disappear.
Hank’s Mom:
Is this any way to treat your mother?
She disappears.
Voice of VR-5000:
You have cancelled your encounter with Barbie. Would you like to A. Start over. B. Resume without Barbie –
Super (reveal):
Hank:
B!
VR-Woman:
Wasn’t Barbie hot? Now I’m going to do something even hotter!
She advances on Hank, slowing unbuttoning her top.
Hank:
Oh, yeah!
VR-Woman:
[With VR-Man’s voice.] Nice laptop you got there.
Hank:
Hey – !
VR-Woman begins to distort and morph into VR-Man.
VR-Woman:
[With VR-Man’s voice.] I’d sure like to interface with you, [Hank’s voice] Uh – Hank.
Hank:
Something is definitely wrong with this thing.
VR-Woman gets very close to Hank, practically lap dancing with him, and morphs into VR-Man.
Horrified, Hank frantically begins to press buttons.
Hank’s Mom reappears.
Hank’s Mom:
What are you doing now, young man?
Hank:
Mom? No! It’s not what it looks like!
Blackout.