September


Top Ten List of Tacky Things on a Cruise Ship

10.Cruise Directors. They are the lowest form of game show hosts.

9. Marketing of pictures of guests. Everywhere you go, a photographer is ready to take your photo, only to sell it to you later.

8. The so-called artwork decorating the ship. Bad taste in decorating at it’s worst.

7. Servers singing during dinner. Every night, another production number sung by guys who can’t carry a tune, backed up by a blasting P.A. system, reinforcing the melody and lyrics, because most of these people can barely speak English.

6. Taking pictures of food. One night, guests lined up to take pictures of the midnight buffet, featuring sculptures of little animals and objects made out of pastries, meat, fruits and vegetables.

5. Taking cameras to the dinner table. This is acceptable behavior only in the strange world of cruise ships.

4. Miniature golf. Also shuffleboard, bingo and slot machines.

3. All items in on-board art auctions. They call this art?

2. Passengers who are rude to staff. They get so spoiled, if the slightest thing isn’t exactly as they wish, they scream at the unsuspecting help. Hell, most of those people don’t understand English.

1. Towel bunnies. Our steward left us a hand-towel shaped like a bunny one night. We did not take it home with us.

© 1998 Butch Maxwell

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